Fact #1 about Egypt

Living in Cairo is equivalent to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.

Isn't that just lovely? It's the 6th most polluted country in the world, and most of it comes from the insane traffic. We learned how to cross the street today, or as they say, 'walk like Egyptians.' Basically there are 3 ways:

1) Go in between the moving cars one by one on the road (scary)

2) Use other humans as shields (my personal favorite)

3) Take the long way and find crosswalks (who does that?)

Watch this video to see it in action:

New Yorkers ain't got nothin' on Arabs.

First Night in Cairo

After my 17+ hour flight, I finally landed in Cairo at 6pm last night. My first thoughts were that Cairo International Airport is actually very nice and the people were so friendly. I arrived with 3 other students and we were picked up by one of our program managers. The weather was absolutely perfect, 70 degrees with a light breeze, exactly how I like it. Apparently it was one of their cold nights, so it's only going to get better.

On the ride to our apartments, we witnessed the infamous Cairo traffic, which is to say, absolutely chaotic. There is very little sense of traffic lanes and horns are sounded so frequently that it becomes background noise. Traffic was pretty heavy but we got to ride through downtown Cairo, which is filled with store after store selling all kinds of items possible. There were crowds of people on the streets, mainly young men travelling in groups or pairs. It is a common sight to see guys linking arms and walking together. Not too many packs of girls; they were either walking with men or in large groups. I didn't get any pictures of the streets yet but stay tuned.

After about a half hour drive, we arrived in the neighborhood of Dokki and were escorted into our apartment building. We're right around the corner from a Cilantro Cafe (probably my new breakfast place) and there are plenty of people but it's not too crowded or noisy. The apartment building itself is impressive, resembling a hotel, with lights hanging outside, visible balconies, and a large glossy floored lobby. But the best surprise was when we walked into our apartment, and our jaws dropped. First of all, it's two floors. The first floor consists of the living room and dining room, which are decorated beautifully, with regal looking chairs and plush red and gold couches.

There is a small kitchen made up of dark hardwood cabinets and for some reason, a Buzz lightyear photo on top of the stove. Then upstairs were our bedrooms. I have one all to myself, but weirdly I have a bunk bed. Good for guests so come visit! It was fully furnished with a dresser and large wardrobes, with intricate mirror designs on it. I have my own little bathroom too- the bathtub is a minuscule square that floods the floors so I'll be using the main one in the hall. There are two other bedrooms for the three girls I'm living with, which is nice since we're all new here. Feels like being back in a dorm except MUCH nicer. Check out the view from one of the apartment balconies:

By around 2am, my jet lag kicked in and I headed to sleep. There's some weird hummingbird/owl outside my window which won't shut up, so will definitely have to take the lower bunk tomorrow. We were told to be ready at 10am for our first day of orientation, which includes introductions and a walk around the neighborhood, as well as general info about adjusting to life in Cairo. Anyway, so far so good. I'm thrilled to be here and can't wait to start living it.

A place where he can no longer hear me

I suddenly felt a wave of sadness over the death of my best friend, and I miss him more than I can explain. It's been over five years but I'm mourning as though I just heard the horrible news from his sister. I can still remember calling him that awful day, and Nadia picking up and telling me that he was missing. I remember thinking that it was a stupid joke and it wasn't even funny, until I realized she was crying. The feeling I got that day was something I had never felt before. It was this feeling of dreadful disbelief that settled over my chest as I struggled to process what she was saying. Hours after our phone call, the truth floated over me in a haze, and I felt like I was hovering over a black hole, trying to breathe and about to drown, the way he drowned when the ocean cruelly stole him from this world, from all of us.

But the feeling I got three days later, when Nadia called me and told me his body had been found was the worst of all, because before then I had been holding my breath, hanging on to the faintest hope that he was somehow alive somewhere. That hope was snuffed out like someone put a hand over the dimmest candle fire, and there was no more hope, only the terrible truth. That was the day I came to learn true loss. I can't describe the pain of losing my best friend. But I can feel it right now, a sense of heartbreaking despair and utter hopelessness because I desperately want to speak to him right now, but he's gone somewhere beyond my reach, to a place where I can never speak to him again.

I try not to remember that I'll never hear his voice again, making fun of me, consoling me, listening to me the way only a best friend can listen. I've never had a best friend since I lost Mahin, and I don't think I ever will again. If friends could be soulmates, he was mine.

This is the first time I've ever shared memories of him. But I think of him every time I go to a beach and remember what his mother said. "There's something there that takes people away." There are times when I wonder what his last thoughts were before he disappeared beneath the waves. I wonder if he knew how much he was loved. I can only find peace in knowing that he's in a peaceful place now. He's gone home.

Yankees cupcakes

After all, I am from New York. B-)

More cupcakes

As you can see, I had fun trying out different ways to use my new frosting tools. The top is just pretty and pink. The bottom one was supposed to be a sunflower but the yellow frosting didn't have a proper tip so it ended up looking like Jamaican cupcakes. Still tasted good nevertheless.

Footprints

I remember this feature piece I read on CNN once that explained how happiness in our lives is a reflection of the meaningful relationships we have. I agree with this one a hundred percent. Most people don't have many meaningful relationships. The majority of our lives are littered with acquaintances and neighbors and co-workers and people bustling in and out of our lives without really making any footprints. Most of the time we are so distracted by our numerous superficial relationships that we don't realize how few of them actually hold any meaning.

A few years ago, when I was new in college, I had a good group of friends and a handful of those littered relationships. And I was happy. But as I grew up and matured, I noticed myself becoming more and more selective and critical of exactly what kind of people I wanted in my life. I finally got to the point where I had alienated all my friends and just chose to be by myself. Now as I look back, I realize my mistake. Instead of focusing on a few relationships, I spent my time catering to every superficial relationship I had, and those people and those relationships simply drained me. But I also proved something that I had feared all along: I did not have any meaningful relationships. No recognizable footprints.

I still have those meaningless relationships. I'm talking about those people who don't keep in touch but write on my Facebook wall now and then. Or the ones who text me on the weekends to go to clubs for their birthdays. People who don't think of me as an individual but another number to add to their rolodex of acquaintances.

This realization is weirdly enlightening and somewhat depressing at the same time. I don't have a select circle with girls like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte from Sex and the City. I've never had that. I was always the girl outside the circles, floating around groups and never bothering to stay long enough for any of those friendships to mean anything to me. And when anyone got even slightly close, I managed to find a reason to push them away completely. Of course, I know I'm flawed. Silently, I know I have a fierce need for total independence, to be able to say I don't need anyone. Somehow I unnecessarily carved out an entire road for myself and ended up hating how lonely it was. I blamed it on other people and then had too much pride to admit I was wrong. But that's usually how it goes.

Too often we don't realize what we have until it's gone

Too often we're too stubborn to say, "I'm sorry, I was wrong."

Too often it seems we hurt the ones we hold dearest to our hearts

And we let the most foolish things tear our lives apart

Story of my life. Sad, I know.

Believe me, I know.

Eid Mubarak!

Eid al Fitr, one of my favorite days of the year. I did mehndi on my hand for the occasion and it came out pretty amazing if I say so myself. :) Let the festivities begin...